Category Archives: Zombies

Super Committee: Try And Say It With A Straight Face

'S' also stands for Sandbagged

Neither super, nor a committee. But it’s our un-super non-committee.

A few facts about this unholy union:

* There will be 12 members. Mostly picked for political reasons (read: not for their ability to actually fix what ails us).

* The 12 members have until November 23 to come up with $1.2-$1.5 trillion of budget cuts. Let’s just quietly move on and say no more about this joke deadline, shall we?

* The committee’s Republican members still don’t want to raise taxes; the Democrats still don’t want to slash entitlements. Funny how that works.

* Newt Gingrich thinks it’s a ‘dumb idea.’ And he knows a little bit about that.

* Everyone else thinks it’s a dumb idea. Not that our elected officials give a —-.

The most disturbing revelation about the birth of the Super Comittee: it confirms our worst fears about Congress — its own utter lack of awareness about how neither Americans, nor the rest of the world are buying into this false comfort — and what it truly believes about the simplicity of duping the national electorate.

When you ask yourself, ‘Why is America being run so poorly?’ consider it might be because our elected officials seem to think poorly of America.

We wouldn’t want members of Congress, who clearly think so highly of themselves, to have to run a poor operation.

Surely, they can move on to bigger and better things.

We should help them.

Zombies, Freewill and the Inevitable Zombie Apocalypse

A reader requested I write about the inevitable zombie apocalypse.

Very well then.

I do not ascribe zombies to the rise of the Tea Party, the Gang of Six, or today’s call by euro-zone chiefs for a “selective default” on the Greek debt.

Although that would be entirely conceivable.

However, it is worth noting that respectable bastions of academia are taking seriously the zombie question. This has been evidenced by such mounting bodies of work as: Why Zombies Are Inconceivable (Eric Marcus); Zombie Killer (Nigel Thomas); Zombies and the Case of the Phenomenal Pickpocket (Michael Lynch); Zombies Support Biological Theories of Consciousness (Andrew Bailey); and Zombie Mary and the Blue Banana (Tillman Vierkant).

Ordinarily, this might be dismissed as so many starving philosophers jumping on the Max Brooks “Zombie Survival Guide: Complete Protection From the Living Dead” bandwagon and its many spinoffs since the book’s release in 2003.

Except the term “zombie,” it seems, was first introduced and popularized by a philosopher and professor back in 1974. Continue reading Zombies, Freewill and the Inevitable Zombie Apocalypse