Category Archives: generally embarrassing events

Americans Quaver As U.S. Prepares To Go Titanic

Lifeboats for senators and bankers only.

Fidelity, which never sends emails, except to market its herd-investing strategies, has suddenly sputtered to life.

This weekend’s missive: “Debt ceiling: what you should know.”

Really. It’s a little late to be sending this now. But what have you got?

It turns out Fidelity is able to direct me to its Web site to get the most clicking, ahem, “best thinking” of its market specialists, who have penned such helpful tidbits as “Inside the U.S. debt drama” and “Fear is not a strategy.”

Fidelity, we know you don’t want us pulling all our money out of our shrinking retirement accounts and stuffing it under our mattresses because that is not good for you. But “Fear is not a strategy”? Come on. That’s pitiful.

We are going down this road no matter what we do now. We’ve heard for a long time something’s gotta’ give. It is just too bad so many people are going to get a lot worse than they deserve.

Just a few letters from the Interblogging universe, written by concerned Americans who now believe their worries will be given more consideration online than by their own congressmen and women… Continue reading Americans Quaver As U.S. Prepares To Go Titanic

The Chickens Must Eventually Roost

Too many Foghorn Leghorns?

The thing about playing chicken is that fatally high stakes are a prerequisite of the game.

And someone — not excluding, say, an entire country — is going lose.

If you believe market pundits like Jim Rogers (an American trader of some fame who chooses to teach his daughter Mandarin and now lives in Singapore) the U.S. has already lost its triple-A credit rating in all but fact.

“Everyone already knows that the U.S. has lost its ‘AAA’ status,” Rogers said (while alternately lambasting the press for taking seriously what he called the ongoing Washington “charade”).

“Anyone who knows what is going on, already knows that the U.S. is now the
biggest debtor nation in the history of the world. It’s only S&P and Moody’s [the ratings agencies] that haven’t figured out what is going on. The investment world knows that the U.S. is not ‘AAA.’”

The truth is, the ratings agencies have figured out the U.S. is not triple-A. But those entrusted with grading the U.S. debt at the ratings agencies have been on the phone frequently with Washington, which means their allegiances are subject to crushing political pressure. Continue reading The Chickens Must Eventually Roost

The Carnival Is Still In Town

“Concentrated power has always been the enemy of liberty.”  

— Ronald Reagan

Wall Street blames Washington for all the financial crises. And Washington blames Wall Street back. It would be amusing, if it wasn’t so pathetic.

Now we know the truth — that both are taking turns bringing us to the brink, with only their own self-preservation in mind.

As we emerged, rather confused, from the 2008 financial crisis, a posting appeared in the comments section of The Wall Street Journal. It was as prescient as it was disturbing. It appears in my book, but I am re-posting it below.

Whether you are a Democrat, Republican or Independent, it is worth a read. It is also worth considering that while Wall Street bewails any hint of a redistribution of wealth to the unwashed masses, the largest-ever redistribution of wealth occurred right under taxpayers’ noses to the banks by the billion-load   — Wall Street’s greatest coup ever, rubber-stamped by our own elected officials.

“All this goes to show we are now entering the second phase of the world financial crisis. Despite the fact that the anti-social nature of banks has been found out, the corruption of the Fed and the finance committees in the Senate and House are now public, and the solutions to the problems are well known, we still do not possess the political will to carry them out.

“It is clear that a larger problem now looms — the crooks are firmly in power and intend to stay there . . . Americans are again ruled by a plutocracy that has no interest in them other than the money that can be made off them, the same as in 1776 . . . If we cannot kick these people out of power, we are no longer America. And most people sense that. We have become the pleading chickens our founding fathers would have despised.”

U.S. Debt Kerfuffle: It’s Not That We Can’t Pay…We Just Don’t Feel Like It

One of their better moments...

Somewhere in the United States, right now, a billionaire is paying his taxes. This makes some people — not naming any names — very unhappy. In our nation, it is imperative that hedge fund managers, for example, pay roughly 15% on earnings via a handy loophole, whereas someone like, say a writer-girl, coughs up over 30%. That strikes some folks as just about right. Call it pursuit of happiness.

Other people’s happiness.

So we have some disagreement there. Elsewhere, others feel that taxing the daylights out of Americans who can’t afford to pay for gas to get to work sounds about right. And that, at one of the worst moments in financial history, forcing Americans to buy health insurance they don’t necessarily want or need so that the healthy insured can subsidize the less-healthy insured is a great idea.

Not saying that insuring everybody as a solid, pie-in-the-sky ideal is not commendable but, Obama, did you ever hear of bad timing? This is why everyone in the opposition thinks you’re batshit-crazy. Why don’t we entertain nirvana after mastering the merely tolerable? Continue reading U.S. Debt Kerfuffle: It’s Not That We Can’t Pay…We Just Don’t Feel Like It

Dear The Fed: You Suck

I was cleansing my inbox today and found this friendly letter to the Fed from 2007 written by our comrades at Long or Short Capital (vaguely connected to our own fake hedge fund, Intergalactic Capital). I was all ready to take a whimsical walk down memory lane, since 2007 was the year before our  financial meltdown. Yet strangely, this missive does not seem dated.

To: The Fed
From:
Long or Short Capital
Re:
You suck

Dear the Fed,

You suck.  You don’t have a backbone and as a result you are slowly and very surely making our country and our currency irrelevant.  Usually the masses rebel and bring down great empires but luckily for us democracy fixed that problem.  Unfortunately, democracy can’t fix how lame and fickle you are and so you will be our ruin.

A few things to tell you:

1) Inflation isn’t 2% like your pathetic CPI ex-Food & Energy says it is.

First of all, as far as I can tell food and  energy are the only two items you should NEVER exclude from an inflation index.  Tell your wife and kids they can have everything in the consumer basket except food and energy and you will quickly see that they are actually the two MOST important and indispensable factors in the CPI.

You can find substitutes for, or go without, everything in the basket EXCEPT those two.

Secondly, stop using “Seasonally Adjusted Intervention Analysis” it’s as sketchy as the  Seldom-Accepted-Accounting-Principles (SAAP) we use to cook the books here at LoS.  I mean writing a computer program to automatically remove any items in the basket which deviate meaningfully from the previous year?  Isn’t the point of the data to SHOW the change versus the previous year, not hide it?  Oh, I found the list of items that you’ve adjusted for and it’s embarrassing. Continue reading Dear The Fed: You Suck

Trader Threatens To ‘Kill’ 47 U.S. Officials

‘I was being sued…it upset me.’

A midlife crisis can take many forms. Cheating on your spouse. Purchasing a Maserati. Wearing Billabong. Buying into The Lynx Effect. Just being a jerk. But putting up an “execution” list on your Web site of high-ranking financial and government officials and urging people to buy guns to help you kill them is one I haven’t heard of. Among those on the hit list of the smiling man in the orange tie to your left: the head of the Securities and Exchange Commission Mary Schapiro and the chairman of the Commodity Futures Trading Commission Gary Gensler — both heavyweight Wall Street watchdogs.

“Go buy a gun, and let’s get to work in taking back our country from these criminals,” he wrote on his site, according to prosecutors. “I will be the first one to lead by example.”

The 50-year-old from Long Island is accused of threatening the lives of 47 current and former officials. (Yes, I said 47. You cannot make this stuff up.) Continue reading Trader Threatens To ‘Kill’ 47 U.S. Officials

Narcissism Up…Most Everything Else Down

Breaking up is hard to do. For you.

This week we discovered almost all the cash that was inside the U.S. is now outside the U.S. But guess what we still have in spades? Self-regard. In fact, a recent story in the New Yorker cited young Americans as having some of the lowest maths and English scores in the industrialized world, but when asked what they thought of their own maths and English abilities, their collective self-assessment ranked them near the top. Now a different kind of study looking at how Americans express themselves in music is out. Lyrics have been analyzed and the results are in. Three guesses and the first two don’t count where we ranked on this one.

Minor Wake-Up Call: U.S. Out of Cash By August 2!

This is a little something from back home we like to call the 'Hawaiian kiss-off'

Hold the phone, we run of cash when? In two and a half weeks? Bah, fie and tut-tut. So that’s what’s behind this whole debt-ceiling/deficit talk getting in the way of my “Mad Men” re-runs. But maybe there’s a silver lining. One humble query: If our entire nation can no longer pay its bills and decides to cut little old ladies’ social security checks, will anyone notice — or care — if I don’t pay mine?

Seems if the U.S. Treasury and Congress can’t get it together, then why should I?

During a pivotal summit with Republicans yesterday, Obama rose, looked around and, well, booked it out the door. (Or as The Wall Street Journal more kindly put it, Obama found himself “abruptly walking out of a key meeting.”)

Key meetings, as far as I can tell, are the kind you’re not supposed to walk out of. But the president’s the president, so what can you do? Continue reading Minor Wake-Up Call: U.S. Out of Cash By August 2!

Oh Roop, It Didn’t Have To Be This Way

In happier days...

I remember when I first read about Rupert Murdoch as a kid, how he barnstormed the British media in the 1960s and published anything that might put the nation’s panties in a bunch: its journalistic establishment, its finance establishment, its trade union establishment, its royal establishment. You name it, if it was a pillar of something-or-other, he wanted to chop it down. Then I learned about his blackheartedness, his don’t give a damn attitude and total lack of self-awareness and accountability. God help me, I thought, I love a psychotic.

While I worked at Dow Jones, we all watched as Rupert Murdoch outfoxed the utterly dundering Bancroft family, owners of The Wall Street Journal. Somehow he managed it so that the family’s only representative on the board was a 27-year-old aspiring opera singer. Even then I reckoned, well, if the family that owns this paper doesn’t realize what a jewel it has, maybe they don’t deserve to own it.

We were also sick of the Bancrofts doing things like selling off all their Dow Jones stock while insisting on keeping their controlling power. It seemed dysfunctional and cheap. Despite his faults, Murdoch was never cheap with the paper — in fact, he’s been spending on it  like a drunken sailor — and he seemed to genuinely love and covet it. With Murdoch, coveting is the most you can ask for.

Since then, many have left the Journal, as not everyone favors Murdoch’s rarefied brand of journalism. And while he used to go after the establishment, it seems now what he has always desired was to become the establishment. Continue reading Oh Roop, It Didn’t Have To Be This Way